all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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