I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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