He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
In America we eat man semen.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
