and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
