I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I don't deserve a penis
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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