Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
