Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
