Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
