And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
40s are totally the cure
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
