u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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