Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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