The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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