Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
