I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
