new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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