Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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