so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
