apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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