Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
