TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
