I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
