The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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