Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
