dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
