I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
