...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
