office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
