dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
