I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
