We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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