We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
