At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Its about making memories worth repressing
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
