Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
