i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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