We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
