i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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