So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
