It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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