No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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