I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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