Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
