you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
