ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
