Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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