she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
