I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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