STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
