Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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