I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
