we have officially lost it.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
