So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
